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equality

You Don't Want Equality!

equality

Over the years I have noticed a few things about people who talk about promoting change and equality. Specifically, I have encountered several of these people and groups in high school/college–I graduated in ’09 and ’12. But in the end, I am often confused as to what their end goal is. I mean sure they say it’s to create opportunities for their specified group, making them equal to everyone outside of the group, but is that really the case? Is the end goal truly complete integration?

People often complain about certain social structures and the discrepancies between social groups, but they always complain to and discuss within their group and not directly to the “other.” When I was a graduate student at Fordham University, my professor asked me if I was in any social clubs, e.g. BSU, aka Black Student Union. I replied, “I don’t do those,” and of course he immediately questioned why. I expressed that although I understand the purpose of the separated groups and the way in which they are conveniently formed, I’d be more obliged to join a diversity group instead—all inclusive and having various issues addressed amongst one another. He understood; and you know what else he told me? As a man of mixed race, Dominican and African-American, he happened to be the sponsor of two social groups: the Hispanic group and the African-American group (I don’t remember their acronyms, sorry). One day, he proposed to each group the opportunity of joining as one. He explained the advantages of the collaboration and how they could unite resources, expand their reach, discuss issues that each of them face separately, together, and possibly with one another, etc. Their response: no, we want to stay within our own groups; we don’t need to join with them.

Seriously people? I call bullshxt. We protest equality, we say we want integration and unity, but when the time comes we show our true colors—we really want superiority. We want our chance to “be the man.”

Yes, I know that some people are expressing themselves and joining with others to create change– I salute them and this isn’t for them. But if you immediately become defensive, this is for you. I need you to truly evaluate what it is that you want. When you speak about change and equality are you always referring to people as “them,” “they” and “those.” When you cry out in outrage is only to those who look like you or is it to everyone? & are you always on the defense?

And to those who complain about people who are actually in these groups: have you ever tried to join one? Have you ever attended a function or event that was directed toward a cause that may not be directly linked to you? Do you listen when these people are speaking, or do you immediately write them off because you assume that what they have to say isn’t relevant to you? Something that I appreciate about LGTBQ groups is that they usually present their groups as a Gay-Straight Alliance. They understand the importance in the ally.

Look, I get it, I promise I do. When I went to a student diversity leadership conference in high school, I broke down like a baby in front of my peers–it was only about 8 people & 2-3 were teachers. I didn’t realize how much certain behaviors affected me and that people’s ignorant comments and snide remarks bothered me so much. But, so many of them behaved in that way due to the lack of exposure to people that didn’t look like or grow up like them. &People can’t learn about something if no one ever teaches them–that’s where you come in. You know the White guys in high school never knew that Black women are not born with straight hair, but have to chemically alter it every month. Lol. But why would they? –especially before the “natural hair movement!” And that sort of thing is trivial, so imagine other things.

 It’s unfortunate that we don’t know how to speak to one another. It is unfortunate that over the years so much anger has been festering and tension has been building. But I ask that you try a little harder. Try harder to communicate with the person on the outside. Or when someone on the inside invites you to see the view, go and check it out! That way, there will be no longer be an outside and inside. It’ll be one view, one goal. And this is NOT limited to race; it’s just what I experience the most. This spans the entire spectrum people. You will never know that my cause is your cause if we don’t join in efforts together. 

If you want equality, prove it.

Lynella!

Jean-Jacques Rousseau : Quote 54.

Hey everyone! How are you guys doing? I’ve been MIA, I know, I know & I apologize. I pray that you all have been well! Here is a thought for the day:

I ran across the quote below in an email that I’d save from my previous blog posts and thought I would share it again. I discovered this quote as an undergrad in a political science course that focused on philosophers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau; the passage below the quote was my initial reaction.

“I expect I shall not easily be forgiven for taking the side I have dared to take. Clashing head in with all that is today admired by men, I can only expect universal blame: and it is not for having been honored by the approbation of a few Wise men, that I should expect the approbation of the Public: Thus I have chosen my side; I do not care whether I please Wits or the Fashionable. There will always be men destined to be subjugated by the opinions of their century, their Country, their Society: Some men today act the part of a Freethinker and the Philosopher who, for some reason, would have been fanatics at the time of the League. One ought not to write for such Readers when one wants to live beyond one’s century.” – Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Not certain what this is in reference to yet, being that I’m in the preface of the book, ha, but it made me think of being a Christian. Not a poser for Christ, but someone who is a genuine Christian, Christ seeker, and lover of God..especially in today’s society. Oh the world we currently live in, sweet children; say a prayer.

At the time I applied the quote to religion–specifically Christianity, as I am a follower of Christ–and I still believe that to be true, but honestly it’s applicable to everything. No matter what, hold fast to what you believe in. Make choices based upon your own morality and your personal truth. Unfortunately society operates as one big groupthink ” a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people, in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome” for those of you who don’t know what that is. Sure, we should all be influenced by one another, and we all work together to function and coexist as a society; but, that doesn’t mean that you should change your values and beliefs on the basis of what others believe to be true. What do you believe to be true?

Live for that.

jean-jacques rousseau, life, society, quote, daily quote, religion

Singers, Actors, Celebrities: Entertainers.

I typed a super long post, vented, then changed my mind about the format. So, here are my thoughts in listed format. This is in response to comments made on this video.

People are idiots, we all know this.

It’s stupid to try to spread positivity with negativity– that’s counterproductive.

Yes, first world problems are a real thing, but that does not mean that my problems/issues/hurt/pain are not valid. Other people around the world are suffering and most times it’s at a magnitude that most could not possibly comprehend. Even our fellow Americans deal with daily hardship and most people are not aware. I know that children in South America (see I said a something other than Africa, unlike most people) are starving, and please believe that I care and hope to contribute in any way that I can. But, if I’m having a bad day, let me have my freaking bad day! Dang! It’s what’s relative to the person’s life at the moment and not their fault. You’re upset that people in a developed, technologic world have developed world problems? That’s stupid.

You cannot blame others for issues/situations that do not directly relate to them. e.g. someone who decided to make Youtube videos for a living has NOTHING to do with photojournalists being beheaded in other countries. Those are global, societal, and governmental issues.

The argument that ‘x career,’ e.g. nurse practitioner, is better than ‘y career,’ e.g. entertainer, and therefore deems the person in ‘y career’ lazy, selfish, self-indulgent, vain, ungrateful, and unworthy of their success and/or popularity is crap.

Yes, being a nurse practitioner, doctor, and lawyer are all amazing and require hard work, diligence, and time. & yes, it is absolutely necessary that these people exist. But, WTH does that have to do with anything else?

Doctors chose to be doctors. Lawyers chose to go to law school, pass the bar and practice law. Cops chose to join law enforcement. Okay? Your point? Chefs cook, singers sing, architects plan and design buildings, athletes play sports, teachers educate our children, garbage men pick up trash, and politicians run the world. These are what we call jobs, people– we all have them. 

When someone makes a certain amount of money for what they do, you shouldn’t attack them. If you want to see change in the world, impact society; change the minds of your fellow human beings. But criticizing Lebron James–who I’m not the biggest fan of– for the millions that he makes is not only hate directed in the wrong direction, but it’s something that will change absolutely nothing.

Wrigley, Fenley and Yankee stadiums don’t sell themselves out. As my college professor once said, you can never be upset with a MLB player because he is only making the millions that you give him. Also, his millions are well deserved; he works extremely hard to maintain his strength, endurance, and longevity. Athletic careers are lucrative, but they don’t last forever. Once it’s over, it’s over.

Doctors are there to heal us. Nurses take care of us. Entertainers ENTERTAIN US! Like, what else do you think this is? I’m sure that after that long 12 hour shift, Ms. Susan, the nurse, wouldn’t mind relaxing on her couch with a bottle of wine and her subscription of Netflix.

The Housewives of all the cities are ridiculous and the show is insanity. But, people enjoy it and that’s an issue you have to take up with them. Sure, you may not feel like what Kim Kardashian does is relevant to society, but clearly she’s relevant to someone. They’re not Keeping Up With the Kardashians for nothin’.

We are all individual beings with individual talents. Not everyone is here to travel abroad and document the tragedies taking place in underdeveloped countries. If that’s what you do, awesome! DO YOU! I appreciate you just the same. But do NOT try to discredit what I do because it’s different from what you do. I mean, I quite enjoy music. So, thank you to all of the musicians, singers, songwriters, producers, etc. out there. My life wouldn’t be the same without you.

Moral of the story: don’t be an idiot. Don’t belittle others because you don’t like what they do. Don’t attack people you don’t know, especially via the dang-on internet, and infer that their lives are meaningless and useless. Don’t assume that because someone isn’t doing heart surgery, what they’re doing isn’t life-changing–people influence society in various ways. And lastly, don’t do the exact opposite of what you’re trying to enforce.

Be the change you want to see in the world.- Mahatma Ghandi

-Lynella

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

TED | We should all be feminists – Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie at TEDxEuston (transcript)

I was going to take an excerpt from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie‘s segment on Tedx Talks for today’s daily quote–and I still may–but I found the entire transcript and, well, that’s better than a simple quote. It’s long, but def. worth reading. Or, if you’d like to watch her speak, check it out here.

natural hair, big hair, black hair, fro

A Phrase I Hate: “My Natural Hair.”

Yes, I probably said what you think I said: that I hate the saying/phrase/wording/whatever, “natural hair.” Do I hate naturals? No. I am one. But, saying it like that has always bothered me. I mean, think about how ridiculous that really sounds–I am wearing my natural hair. For perspective, I would never say: Ooh girl, I’m wearing my natural Black skin from now on. Like, what?

 

     fro, natural hair, dyed hair, big hairfro, natural hair, dyed hair, big hair  fro, natural hair, dyed hair, big hair

My hair has been in its natural state for 4 years now, as of June 19th. I’ve cut it on several different occasions, dyed it once, and braided it up time upon time again. I love it and I would never, ever in life relax it again! But, I have always thought that having to state that I “went natural” or “am natural” was kind of silly–no one else has to say that about their hair or anything else. 

big chop, natural hair, fade, black hair

(One week after I cut my hair in 2010)

        natural hair, twa, black hair, big chop

(One day after I chopped it all off again in 2012 because an experimental haircut didn’t go as planned! –Yes that is Nick Jonas on my door and I was def. in college. Judge all you want! Nick, knows what’s up. Lol)

When I first cut my hair, it was such a huge ordeal. Not necessarily for me, but for everyone around me. But, that’s another story for another post (if you’d like to know about the screaming, crying, yelling, and all out affair that involved me “having permission” to cut it at the age of 19, feel free to let me know! 🙂 ) Unlike a lot of naturals, I didn’t transition at all. I went straight for the BC (big chop). I cut it all by myself–and every other time to follow. People would say, Omg I didn’t know you were going natural! or What made you decide to go natural? or Omg I love your hair like that! & to that, I simply say thank you because I absolutely appreciate it. But what’s interesting is that when I got a relaxer in the 6th grade I said it once and it was never mentioned again.  

black hair, relaxed hair

(I’m thinking this was after a fresh relaxer in the 9th grade? Not entirely sure, though)

Those who have relaxed hair never have to say so. No one ever says, I love your relaxed hair (or permed hair as some say, which isn’t actually correct), or What made you get a relaxer every four weeks?, or Oh no, I’ve actually been relaxed for 7 years now! If anything, shouldn’t that be the thing that’s announced? Having my hair in its natural state is like having the brown skin on my body. It’s what I am and what I was born with, so why must I announce it as such? And you know what really trips me out? When people say:

Them: “Omg how did you get your hair like that?”

Me: “Well ,I just put water in it today, I didn’t really do anything.

Them: But noooo, how’d you get it to curl like that?

Me: Oh I didn’t do anything, I just wet it this morning. This is what it looks like. *cue nervous laughter*

Them: Oh come on girl, you had to put something in it, huh?

Me: No ma’am, this is just water. I use a few things sometimes, but I didn’t have time today and I haven’t done it in like a week. *backs away from this awkward conversation*

Like, I can’t have naturally curly hair? I have to be using Kinky Curly or something? Chill, ma’am.

[gird-gallery id=”3″]

(My hair when I actually do something to it. Twists–which are worn for at least 2 weeks–and the twist out)

And lastly, my biggest pet peeve of all: “NATURAL HAIR ISN’T FOR EVERYBODY.” If I was as rude as the people who say this, I’d politely tell them to go eff themselves. How dare you? What the heck does that even mean–the hair that grows out of my hair isn’t for me? When God made me, he somehow managed to assign me the wrong hair type? Okay, thanks for that.

No! You are absolutely incorrect. My hair is mine and you have no right to say that it’s not for everybody. Personally, I’ve never been told that it didn’t work for me, but I have had people say that they wished other people’s looked like mine or that they “rocked it the way that I do,” because it isn’t for everyone. I’ve even heard women who wear their hair in its natural state say it. Shame on you, ma’am. Shame. On. You. No one tells women with straight hair that it’s not for them. Or women with weave, or dyes. Or women of other races that their hair isn’t cool. Why the freak should I be concerned about wearing my hair? IT’S MINE! & I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO ANNOUNCE IT!

But, anyway. I understand that it’s a more complicated and in-depth discussion than that. I know that everything ties back to slavery, and segregation, and changing not just your hair, but maybe even your identity to simply be accepted. I understand that it’s a “natural hair movement” because women are regaining the confidence to be who they are. I get it and I understand.

All I’m saying is that I don’t like it. Having to announce what I am is dumb. I don’t do it for anything else and I shouldn’t have to do it for this. But that’s just me.

xoxo

Lynella!

Daily Quote (6).

“Nothing typifies globalization like the death of Princess Diana: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was high on Scotch whiskey, followed closely by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motorcycles, and is treated by an American doctor using medicines from Brazil”- Unknown*

 

*I don’t remember and couldn’t find the specific author, but this quote is located in David G. Myers’ book, Social Psychology (10th Edition).  I read this in an undergrad course.

You’re All About the Hype.

original

You know what I’m waiting for? The day the industry finally reveals that they’ve been doing one big experiment this whole time; they’ve been progressively releasing terrible music to see how long it would take before artists’ fans say enough is enough. Yet, they also know that as people we love to follow trends, so you’ll accept their crappy music no matter how bad it gets. I can [almost] state as a fact that Gaga, Bieber, Beyoncé, and Rihanna fans (to name a few) will never stop supporting them.

I haven’t previewed Beyonce’s album yet and I won’t for a while because I hate doing things just for the hype of it. I’ve also been off the Bey train for a while now–since right before the Super Bowl–so I’m not that excited to hear it. BUT I will say that it should be interesting to see what it sounds like. Is it actually going to be good or will people just say it’s good because it’s Beyonce and they’ve been waiting for it?

The world we live in.
via Tumblr http://personallyc.tumblr.com/post/69864672660/youre-all-about-the-hype