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Why’d You Cut Your Natural Hair?!

 Brace yourself kids, ish is about to get real!

natural hair, afro, dyed hair, photography

As I’m sure most of you have noticed, I chopped off all of my natural hair. Any other time, this wouldn’t be a big deal, as I’m always cutting my hair after I get bored with it, but this was a bit different. After cutting it, I got the usual remarks:

“Omg, why’d you cut all of your hair off?”

or

“Omg I can’t believe you cut it! Whyyy? I loved your hair.”

or my favorite,

“But it was so pretty and so long!”

Thanks guys. I’m sure it’s so short and so ugly now–appreciate all of your love and support.

In most instances, I don’t care what people think about me or my hair because frankly, it’s nobody else’s business. If I wanted to go bald it shouldn’t mean a dang thing to anybody else or their mama! But this time, the haircut meant something. It was difficult for me to cut it because I knew that if I did, when I did, I would have to make it worth while. If not, what would have been the point? Here’s what I sent to my mom and sisters in a group text, you know, just to avoid any unwanted commentary whilst already in a vulnerable state:

“…I’m on a journey and I had to do something for myself. Over the past 5 years I’ve gained 70lbs. I fluctuate between 214 and 220 right now. I didn’t feel pretty anymore. My face is round, I know. I don’t need any reminders. I was eating out way to much, spending tons of money and shopping unnecessarily. I’ve been being lazy and not going after my dreams. So I cut my hair. I cut my hair because it’s a part of my journey to change. Mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically…So, not that it matters or I owe anybody an explanation, but there ya go.”

In late October of 2014, I began my journey–one that required I start anew. These past couple of years have been interesting for me. I gained tons of weight, dropped out of graduate school twice, voluntarily moved back in with my parents and am currently using my hard-earned degree to simply work in retail–something had to change. Don’t get me wrong, retail is cool, but that is not what I had planned for my life; and although I get a kick out of it most days, it will soon grow into a place of misery. I went from living life in NYC, to settling back down in rural, South Louisiana. As I’m sure you can imagine, internally I was losing my shxt! So, I made a decision: I am going to do what I love to do and not settle for anything less than that! I am not only going to learn to love myself for who and what I am, but grow into an even better version of that and continue to love her just as much! & as my hair grows back and changes over the years, I intend to grow and change with it.

So, to any and everyone who asked or was wondering, that’s why I cut my hair–not that it’s any of your concern, my dear.

Remember, grow to love and appreciate yourself because “you see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” -Mother Teresa

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Are any of you going through a transitional phase in your lives? Have any of you struggled with or been successful in weight loss? If so, please feel free to comment below and share your stories, tips and words of encouragement!

Love ya!

Lynella

natural hair, big hair, black hair, fro

A Phrase I Hate: “My Natural Hair.”

Yes, I probably said what you think I said: that I hate the saying/phrase/wording/whatever, “natural hair.” Do I hate naturals? No. I am one. But, saying it like that has always bothered me. I mean, think about how ridiculous that really sounds–I am wearing my natural hair. For perspective, I would never say: Ooh girl, I’m wearing my natural Black skin from now on. Like, what?

 

     fro, natural hair, dyed hair, big hairfro, natural hair, dyed hair, big hair  fro, natural hair, dyed hair, big hair

My hair has been in its natural state for 4 years now, as of June 19th. I’ve cut it on several different occasions, dyed it once, and braided it up time upon time again. I love it and I would never, ever in life relax it again! But, I have always thought that having to state that I “went natural” or “am natural” was kind of silly–no one else has to say that about their hair or anything else. 

big chop, natural hair, fade, black hair

(One week after I cut my hair in 2010)

        natural hair, twa, black hair, big chop

(One day after I chopped it all off again in 2012 because an experimental haircut didn’t go as planned! –Yes that is Nick Jonas on my door and I was def. in college. Judge all you want! Nick, knows what’s up. Lol)

When I first cut my hair, it was such a huge ordeal. Not necessarily for me, but for everyone around me. But, that’s another story for another post (if you’d like to know about the screaming, crying, yelling, and all out affair that involved me “having permission” to cut it at the age of 19, feel free to let me know! 🙂 ) Unlike a lot of naturals, I didn’t transition at all. I went straight for the BC (big chop). I cut it all by myself–and every other time to follow. People would say, Omg I didn’t know you were going natural! or What made you decide to go natural? or Omg I love your hair like that! & to that, I simply say thank you because I absolutely appreciate it. But what’s interesting is that when I got a relaxer in the 6th grade I said it once and it was never mentioned again.  

black hair, relaxed hair

(I’m thinking this was after a fresh relaxer in the 9th grade? Not entirely sure, though)

Those who have relaxed hair never have to say so. No one ever says, I love your relaxed hair (or permed hair as some say, which isn’t actually correct), or What made you get a relaxer every four weeks?, or Oh no, I’ve actually been relaxed for 7 years now! If anything, shouldn’t that be the thing that’s announced? Having my hair in its natural state is like having the brown skin on my body. It’s what I am and what I was born with, so why must I announce it as such? And you know what really trips me out? When people say:

Them: “Omg how did you get your hair like that?”

Me: “Well ,I just put water in it today, I didn’t really do anything.

Them: But noooo, how’d you get it to curl like that?

Me: Oh I didn’t do anything, I just wet it this morning. This is what it looks like. *cue nervous laughter*

Them: Oh come on girl, you had to put something in it, huh?

Me: No ma’am, this is just water. I use a few things sometimes, but I didn’t have time today and I haven’t done it in like a week. *backs away from this awkward conversation*

Like, I can’t have naturally curly hair? I have to be using Kinky Curly or something? Chill, ma’am.

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(My hair when I actually do something to it. Twists–which are worn for at least 2 weeks–and the twist out)

And lastly, my biggest pet peeve of all: “NATURAL HAIR ISN’T FOR EVERYBODY.” If I was as rude as the people who say this, I’d politely tell them to go eff themselves. How dare you? What the heck does that even mean–the hair that grows out of my hair isn’t for me? When God made me, he somehow managed to assign me the wrong hair type? Okay, thanks for that.

No! You are absolutely incorrect. My hair is mine and you have no right to say that it’s not for everybody. Personally, I’ve never been told that it didn’t work for me, but I have had people say that they wished other people’s looked like mine or that they “rocked it the way that I do,” because it isn’t for everyone. I’ve even heard women who wear their hair in its natural state say it. Shame on you, ma’am. Shame. On. You. No one tells women with straight hair that it’s not for them. Or women with weave, or dyes. Or women of other races that their hair isn’t cool. Why the freak should I be concerned about wearing my hair? IT’S MINE! & I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO ANNOUNCE IT!

But, anyway. I understand that it’s a more complicated and in-depth discussion than that. I know that everything ties back to slavery, and segregation, and changing not just your hair, but maybe even your identity to simply be accepted. I understand that it’s a “natural hair movement” because women are regaining the confidence to be who they are. I get it and I understand.

All I’m saying is that I don’t like it. Having to announce what I am is dumb. I don’t do it for anything else and I shouldn’t have to do it for this. But that’s just me.

xoxo

Lynella!